728 Main Street * P.O. Box 28 * Mendota, IL 61342
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815-538-3044
Toll Free: 877-954-HOPE
(4673)
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Look on this web site to answer any questions you may have about abortion, adoption and pregnancy.
After you have done a little research you will need to talk to someone.
There are different solutions for different situations, and it is important to talk through them before you come to a decision….because ANY decision you make from this point on will be life altering.
Call us at 815-538-3044 or toll free: 877-954-HOPE.
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They are going to be so mad at me
I will have to finish school
They will be so disappointed
Her parents will kill me
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Before you think about your parents, think for yourselves, get the facts and have a plan when you go to them. They will feel many of the same emotions you did when you found out. Presenting a united and thought out plan will help this be a lot less traumatic for you and for them.
Keep in mind that many parents have a negative first reaction, but this changes drastically as the idea becomes more familiar.
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First think about this:
- No new father is ever “ready” it isn’t something you can learn from a book!
- You may be young, but you can still learn and “grow up” to be a good dad
- You need to stay in school, it is critical to providing for your child in the future, and there is help out there
- As you get used to the idea of being a father and once you meet your child, the feeling of being scared will go away
- Your girlfriend’s parents will probably be hard to talk to at first but once they see you are going to stay around and go through this with their daughter they will respect your decision and you
- You need to maintain a friendly relationship with your girlfriend if you are still together or not. She is the mother of your future child, and for the sake of that child you need to get along with each other.
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- Marry the mother and raise the child together.
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Help parent the child as single parents.
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Place the baby up for adoption.
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Abandon the child and mother.
With so many options and many different possible outcomes, you need to make sure you talk through everything with someone who understands.
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We are here for you and ready to talk with you whenever you need us. |
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- Get involved with your child before birth.
- Begin to learn about your child throughout the pregnancy. As you begin to learn about your child, you will see that he/she can hear your voice while still in the womb! And studies have shown that a baby can even recognize the parents’ voices, if heard frequently enough, after birth!
- You can also learn about the genetic traits he/she has already received from you and then recognize them after birth. This is not just physical features, but also includes personality traits .
- Also, go to parenting classes together so you can lean the basics in baby care and talk with other young soon-to-be fathers.
- Talk to your own mom and dad, or some other parent that you admire, about parenthood.
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After birth, don’t be afraid to touch, hold, talk to, feed, dress, and even change your child’s diaper, from the beginning! In no time at all it will become second nature.
Be very patient, both with the baby and the mother. Those early months are very demanding and can be stressful. A good dad can relieve some of that stress.
As your child gets older you can begin to enjoy all of the benefits of parenthood-the smiles, the fun, and the unconditional love you will have for your child.
Studies have shown that a dad’s presence in a child’s life results in children who are more likely to achieve academically, have fewer behavior problems, and relate better with their peers and in social situations.
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Abortion may relieve the immediate problem of an unplanned pregnancy, but the lasting impact is much greater than expected. The finality and the irreversibility of the decision to abort can affect those involved more than they expect.
Young men who participate in an abortion often find it difficult to make the transition from selfish boyhood to responsible manhood. The "easy way out" provided by abortion engrains the idea of not having to face consequences. This leaves them in a place of limbo that hinders the move into adulthood and responsibility.
If your girlfriend has had an abortion we encourage you to seek help and talk to someone who knows and understands what you are going through.
Contact us to schedule an appointment.
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Abortive fathers are from every age and background, some may have been willing participants, others may have given the woman the choice and had no input while others may have been unwilling participants who were given little or no say in the decision to abort their child.
No matter what the circumstances men are experiencing post abortion trauma.
Sometimes the impact of an abortion is felt immediately and sometimes it takes several years to surface. Many post abortive fathers experience the grief of abortion when the birth of their first child is anticipated. Whether immediate or long term, studies show that the following problems are commonly experienced:
- Sleeplessness, bad dreams, nightmares
- Sexual dysfunction
- Depression, fear of failure, fear of rejection
- Loneliness or numbness
- Relationship struggles
- Lack of self worth
- Inability to trust friends
- Anger, rage
- Addictions
- Sexual compulsions
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© 2002-2008 Abigail Women's Clinic
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